You just made me feel so damn special
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
