i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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