My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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