you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
