we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
