Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
