She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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