it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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