East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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