Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
