Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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