just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
