i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
