I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I believe in your delicious
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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