What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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