He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
