u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
