Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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