btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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