Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
are you so shy because you have an std?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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