I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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