Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
smell my finger.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
