a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
