You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
