Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
