If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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