Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
