How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
