I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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