you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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