it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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