So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
