nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
