I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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