and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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