After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
