I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize