I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
