all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
