This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
