If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
