if i can run in heels then i can drive
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
