and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
