The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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