He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
