where am i from again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
