Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
