he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
