it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
