I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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