Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
