i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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