Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
