hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
