Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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