And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
