already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
