Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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