I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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