just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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