Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
