Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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