you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
