remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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