We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am available for nakedness
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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