My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
