final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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